Sharing from my heart. My sister Dre (our Andy) passed away unexpectedly 1 year ago today. Andy loves deeply, is fiercely loyal, loves adventures, and had a fiery nature. She would tackle things without fear. She went after challenges with confidence and conquered them. I love her, but we were very different and had a strained relationship. After years of trying, the frustrations built and one day we got so mad at each other, we stopped talking with each other. At first it was a good idea, we needed to pause while we found healthier ways to relate. When I was ready to talk, she wasn't ready. I wrote a few letters asking if it was the right time, but they went unanswered. With Andy, you always knew exactly where you stood with her, because she would tell you. No answer meant: *ell no, I'm not ready! So I had to wait; my waiting took years and sadly extended to her death. But with God's plan allowing progression, I feel we can still build a relationship. When I'm thinking of someone who has died, it's because they are thinking of me. I felt it was time to start talking with her again. 4 But let patience have her perfect work
I was thinking of Andy & Greg (died 2011) and their cute kids A LOT while I was putting their pictures together. I felt it was time for me to really apologize to Andy for something I said that had years ago. I whispered to my sister how sorry I was and that my words came out wrong and probably hurt her deeply. At the time, I tried to apologize, but it was not the right time. She and I had a tough relationship, she didn't want her siblings to be in her life very much. I thought of the times we tried to be closer. Sometimes it worked, but there were a lot of times it just wouldn't work out. Last week I felt she might be listening. I felt that even though she had died, she could still hear me. And you know what, I felt peace. I felt that we both needed that.
I also felt how LOVED their kids are. I mean they have a lot of family here around them, and they also have a large cheering team in heaven. There were several times this past year I felt panicked because I didn't know what to do to help. I forgot that it wasn't all up to us. Gabe and Jordan have a BIG cheering team in heaven who can help the pieces fit together. We all prayed and asked God to show us what to do when we couldn't see the way. And I wanted to thank everyone for praying for us, Gabe and Jordan. Prayer brings unity in purpose and hope. I watch how my sweet niece and nephew are within the arms of angels and I've seen miracles within this past year. I'm grateful that Christ helps us through the things we cannot see, and lights our way. A BIG thank you for all those who came, mourned with us, laughed with us, hugged us, helped us to stand. A BIG thanks to Wendy for helping me learn about Greg's family. A BIG thanks to all of Dre's friends who share love with her kids. A BIG thanks to my mom and Quinn and Sara for giving them a place to land. And a BIG thanks to Gabe and Jordan who have the best of both their parents: love & patience from their dad and courage & loyalty to family from their mom.
So today, my heart misses my sister. We are not left alone. We can feel them close. We can whisper from our hearts things we both need to hear. Talk with those you love and have lost. Heaven is filled with good listeners, miracles workers, guardian angels, and those who can help us heal. Progression of relationships can continue after we die. Even though those we love have moved across LIFE's street into heaven, we can work together on healing the hurts in our relationships. Her perspective is different now. My perspective has changed too. And love exists on both sides of life. Andy, I love you miss you and am so grateful for you in my life.
Elder Neil L. Andersen “In the crucible of earthly trials, patiently move forward, and the Savior’s healing power will bring you light, understanding, peace, and hope”.
